January 5, 2015

Dadventures #8 - Has She Pooped On You?

New parents can expect the unexpected. They also have a higher threshold for situations that might send others running. Picking your nose is taboo. However, many parents instinctively unclog the nostrils of their  infant if the self-proclaimed "boogersucker" tool is unavailable. Sharing food before children is almost unthinkable. When a hungry and whiny toddler hovers around you constantly, you almost prefer to offer a portion of your meal to fend them off for a few precious seconds. Ultimately, things that you wouldn't consider doing before you have children become second nature when you have mini-me's trotting around. And strangely enough, things you might have internally chastised people for doing are now things you would seemingly defend to your own death. Additionally, you almost feel offended when friends without children call you out on it, though you might actually be jealous of their freedom. You might also feel like those childless people are in a different universe, so naive to the methodology and necessity for your new way of thinking. A friend once caught me in the middle of a diaper change where things got messy and asked me if I'd ever been pooped on. Without hesitation, I replied quizzically. "Today?" 

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