These are ACTUAL quotes from my high school baseball coach. We didn't always see eye to eye, and not because he was quite short.
- Be a leader, not Bill Clinton.
- It's a tackhammer, not a sledgehammer.
- Protect yourself from pickpocketing midgets.
- Keep your elbows straight. Eat the cracker.
- On your belly, like a reptile.
- The bat and ball are connected. They're held together by an umbilical cord. They're siamese!
- Hit the giant on the chin.
- When you field a ball, pretend it's a cookie. It's your favorite, chocalate chip. Don't let it crumble.
- Don't just tie one leg of the doggy, tie 'em both.
- Don't be a cowboy. Yahoo! The bow-legged Roy Rogers.
- I don't watch millionaires. I love baseball, but I dont like banking.
- Don't turn a pickle into a snowball fight.
- Chinese fire drills won't win ballgames.
- I'm sick and tired of your contagious bullshit
- Join the ballet. Pull down your pants and show your tutu.
- Be a surgeon, cut it in half.
- Don't stretch like a howdy doody doll.
- Get some hair on your testicles, gonads, manhood, balls
- Whatcha gonna do? Sit back and get your jollies watching an old man work harder than you.
- Dargatz references- nimrod, bozo, blowhard, turkey, numbskulls,doorknob, goofy, quacking sleepybrain
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