Attending a
university known for partying, there were endless opportunities to delve into
the world of alcohol and promiscuous debauchery. However, my grades suffered in
my freshman year for a much less exciting distraction: cable television. Having
the ability to watch pretty much anything at any time was much more intriguing
to me than hitting the books. I didn't party, I didn't study, I didn't chase
girls (or at least catch any.) Rather, I watched crappy television. A lot of
it. Most Friday nights followed a pattern. I did laundry, ordered cheesesticks
from the cafeteria, and plopped down to whatever sporting event or B-movie was
on the tube, usually with some Limp Bizkit blaring from my stereo. I was quite
the catch in my college days. Interestingly enough, cable television is what
brought me into the drinking world. My first alcohol encounter occurred with a
buddy from my Bible Study group, and we drank Smirnoffs while watching playoff
hockey in the alcohol-free dorm. We were living on the wild side. Though I
haven't gained many more cool points since this plateau of awesomeness, at
least I am now less dependent on terrible television and a much improved
connoisseur of beer.
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